Walker Texas Ranger

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

ountain is not the name of a movie, it is the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris’ backyard.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck´s gas tank as a joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.